pensils

three days ago, friday, i had the trainingsession with a professional trainer. it was soooooo much fun! she asked me what part of my body i want to work with and then she wrote down what machines i should use. then she showed me how to work the machines and i tried them out. after about 30 minutes i was done and then i had free time. i tried a stepmachine and a workoutbike. i really want to start going there but it is too expensive. about £18 for 6 months. i want a month-card but they dont have that, they only have one year-card and 6 months-card. anyway, i have desided to do pilates every other day now. and i hope that my father will give me some money so i can buy a gym-card at another gym. i really have to get some muscles in my arms! haha.

now i'm gonna study to my national test in swedish. uuh. the day after tomorrow we're gonna have the test. 8.00 am. i'm glad that we will do it on a computer, it's easier to write on a computer and it doesn't take as long to write. we won't have access to internet so it won't be very different to writing by hand. but we will have access to a spellingcorrectionprogram. the test is gonna take 5 hours, but if you're done you can leave after 1 hour. tomorrow i'm gonna buy some fruits so i can make a fruitsallad to bring.

i started reading the first gossip girl-book yesterday. i'm surprised that it's so different from the tv-serie. i can't stop thinking about the characters on tv when i read it - which ruins alot because they aren't described the same in the book. they don't look the same and they don't have the same families. and blairs mother is alredy together with cyrus in the beginning of the first book - and on tv they don't meet until season 2. confusing, haha.

colored water

Midnight
Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight
The withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan

Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again

pipe

i love my new shoes. i'm not gonna wear them until my graduation - how am i gonna do that?

i'm writing a paper about the political conflict in colombia. it's hard.. i have to read alot about it online. i have two weeks until i'm gonna hand it in. tell me about it? help me.

i bought two books today, shadow and the first gossip girl book - now i only have 12 more to buy! haha. i'm gonna have the whole collection of gossip girl books! that's my plan.

tomorrow alex comes. hihi.

and we don't have a floor in our kitchen. they teared it up yesterday, so we walk on some kind of cardboardplates. i don't know when they are going to lay the new floor, but hopefully next week.

push

come on, give me one of these for graduation! (i like the first two the most!)
from forever21



or atleast one of these! (i like the last two the most!)
forever21, forever21, h&m

today i fixed a new passport, opened a new bank-account for savings, ate sushi for lunch, looked at a new computer and was in school. i have done a lot of things today.

shapes

(masquerade-party about a year ago)


today we visited a mosque, in school. we watched four men praying and then one man talked to us and answered our questions. when we were done talking they offered us some tea, juice and cookies.

tomorrow i'm gonna fix a new passport, so i have to look pretty tomorrow for my passportpicture, haha.
now i'm gonna brush my teeth, then lay down in bed and watch desperate housewives (and then wire in the blood).

poor me

today i'm really sick. my throat hurts soooo badly and i've got a fever. my whole body hurts and my nose is running (haha). im gonna lay down in bed and watch sex and the city for the rest of the day. uuh, poor me.

school

on our national test we are going to write a text about commitment and influence. we get to choose to write a letter, a debatearticle, an essey, chronical, newspaperarticle, speakingscript or a report. i'll probably choose a debatearticle, chronical or an essey.

we got papers that describe how to write the national test and examples. i'm gonna read that later today.

i don't know what to write about yet, but i have two weeks to deside. i'm thinking about writing about mental illness and how we have to take better care of people around us, or maybe about the schoolsystem and how i think it should change. but i think i'll choose mental illness for the writing part of the test and the think about the schoolsystem for the oral test where we're supposed to talk about something that involves commitment and influences for five minutes.

stress

i really need to find an aupair-family now! im starting to feel a little panic about this.. what if i dont find a family?!
i want to have some contact with the family before i move there.. send a few emails, pictures and so, to feel how its working.
im a member at two au pair-sites and i am going to send in an application to another agency. but that's gonna cost about £ 30.. and i have to have a doctor to sign a medicalapproval, i need references from a teacher and from two childworksthings... i just want it to be easy!

i am really confused about my future. i know that i go to school until june 5th, then im going to thailand juny 8th - july 8th. after that im gonna go home, spend time with my friends and back down my room into boxes.
around the 10th august i want to leave for london and live there for 6 months.
when i move back i have no idea where im gonna live or what im gonna do. my sister is moving in to my room in august so i dont have a room left here, i guess im gonna live with alex..
im gonna look for a job that doesn't require an education and at the same time look for an appartment in uppsala. i hope to move there sometime during the spring 2010.
sometime during the spring i have to catch up with my schoolstudies again and improve my grades.
in september 2010 i think im gonna start to study at the university, if everything goes as planned. maybe i'll start to study in january 2011, i dont know. only time will tell.
the thing im really worried about is how im gonna improve my grades next spring. and the schoolsystems are changing during the fall 2010 and i have no idea how it's gonna be after that. fortunately i've booked an appointment with my study- and workguide at my school. maybe he'll help me get a little bit wiser.

sadness

give me money. i need money! give me a job. i need new shoes - for real, my feets are always wet! please.. i really need money.

army

i'm writing a paper, homework, right now. it's about downloading and i have to send it in today. almost done.. in my paper i'm against downloading and my arguments are that if everybody would download illegal online, the artists won't make any money and will not be able to produce more albums and the music will stop renew. but in real life i can't really say that i'm totally against it - i see both good and bad things with downloading. downloading makes everybody able to enjoy music.

tomorrow we're going on a trip to uppsala university with the school. i'm gonna stay there and take the bus o alex and stay there 'til sunday. i have to finish my paper now and pack my bag, then tidy up my room and after that i'm gonna take a bath with our new shower gel that smells like cacao.

wishes

i've changed my socks three times today. the first time was when i got home from school, i was soaking wet. the second time was after i went to the local store to buy some snacks, i was walking with a whole lake in my shoe. the third time was when i was putting on socks to go over to Mias place, i realized that my socks didn't match so i had to put on a new pair.

i hate this day. i detest this day. i loathe this day.

it's snow everywhere, it's all white. it's constantly snowing and it's slippery everywhere. i fell when i was going down our two steps outside the door. my feet has been wet and cold all day and the wind is blowing all the snow right in my face when i'm walking.

the only thing that i really love about this day is that it's desperate housewives at 9 p.m and that i have peanut rings here, right beside me. and that i'm playing amy mcdonalds cd (and have been for a few hours, i'm inlove with it!)

sugar

hi, im back.
as i wrote, i went to stockholm on thursday, came back home yesterday. on thursday i ate at a restaurant with my father and my sister, drank wine and then i went to nalen to see timo. it was great but sadly it was just timo and hans, patric niels and joel wasn't there, but it was still wonderful! timo is the greatest, i really adore him. i love him.
friday we went to a suburb to stockholm to party and then we continued to a bar/pub-thing in the city. saturday we went to the same place. yesterday i was soooo tired and worn out, uh. poor me. (no, i know - i have only myself to blame)

this morning i went to the hospital and then to school. now i have to study and i'm really tired.

atached

uh, busy day. i went to the eyedoctor this morning, everything looked fine. then i went to school at 9.30, to find out we started at 13.50.. haha, fun? not really. did some work anyway, then i went to get a coffe and pie with sarah.
fell asleep when i got home and now i've done some homework.
tomorrow i'm going to stockholm to see timo raisanen perform in a bar and then im staying at my sisters place until sunday. on friday we're going out to party!
now i have to watch greys anatomi (yes, i have to!)

shoes

give me these!

stuck

my mom bought me this scarf. i absolutely love it! the colors, the stripes, wiho! lovely.

my sisters were so cute when i got home today. they hugged me several times and said they'd missed me. my youngest sister even told me she'd missed our fights, haha!

now i'm feeling a bit nauseous.. watching cold case and waiting for special victims unit to start. yes, i love that show.

i want to have a day to do just what i want. a day with no stress, just calm. reading magazines, drawing, painting, listening to music, looking at old photographs, lighting candles, playing the guitar, do lots of creative things. those days can only be on the weekend.. and the next to weekends i'm busy - away from home. in three weeks, then i'll have saturday and sunday to myself. then i'll have two computer- tv- and phone-free days. atleast i'll try. i think that's necessary. i'm gonna delete some blogs from my list too, it's becoming obsessive to read them all the time. uh.

goodnight