stress

i really need to find an aupair-family now! im starting to feel a little panic about this.. what if i dont find a family?!
i want to have some contact with the family before i move there.. send a few emails, pictures and so, to feel how its working.
im a member at two au pair-sites and i am going to send in an application to another agency. but that's gonna cost about £ 30.. and i have to have a doctor to sign a medicalapproval, i need references from a teacher and from two childworksthings... i just want it to be easy!

i am really confused about my future. i know that i go to school until june 5th, then im going to thailand juny 8th - july 8th. after that im gonna go home, spend time with my friends and back down my room into boxes.
around the 10th august i want to leave for london and live there for 6 months.
when i move back i have no idea where im gonna live or what im gonna do. my sister is moving in to my room in august so i dont have a room left here, i guess im gonna live with alex..
im gonna look for a job that doesn't require an education and at the same time look for an appartment in uppsala. i hope to move there sometime during the spring 2010.
sometime during the spring i have to catch up with my schoolstudies again and improve my grades.
in september 2010 i think im gonna start to study at the university, if everything goes as planned. maybe i'll start to study in january 2011, i dont know. only time will tell.
the thing im really worried about is how im gonna improve my grades next spring. and the schoolsystems are changing during the fall 2010 and i have no idea how it's gonna be after that. fortunately i've booked an appointment with my study- and workguide at my school. maybe he'll help me get a little bit wiser.