congratulations simon, you would have turned 19 today

sleepless nights and stressful days. loud music and coloring. wrighting and reading. dressing and undressing. playing and listening. screaming and crying. dancing and laughing. drinking and smelling. candles and parfume. sleeping and stretching. cold windows and warm beds. smooth legs and big breasts. designing and fabrics. games and movies. posing and photographing. scrapbooking and pictures.

i have to go to the hospital. it's something wrong in the back of my head. in worst case, i have to pay about £30-40. i don't know if i will afford it. but it's nessesary. damn it.

i want this week to end. today is monday. the first day of the week. looking good? not really.
i know what shoes to wear tomorrow. no, i know what shoes i WANT to wear tomorrow but it's too cold. -10 c and a lot of snow. why? it's unfair, i can't wear the shoes i want to wear! i want to live in a warm contry where you can wear whatever you want whenever you want to! l.a .. that would be wonderful. gosh, i could dream about this forever. warm contries. abroad. the climate. my life. my future. what i want to do. my future, yeah. i have so many dreams, i can't even count them.